Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A moment of weakness

So I have given up (for the most part) this dating blog. I am resigned to let dating find me at the right moment. I don't want to force a relationship for the sake of having one. (that's how you get into trouble.)

I am sure of this, but it does not make life easier. I am constantly told at work I am nice and I should have a bf by now. (and I constantly remind them that niceness has nothing to do with it.) It is hard to be reminded everyday of your alone-ness though. (I find solace in books, movies, and food though. . . )

August 9th is my sister's weedding and I don't have a date. My whole family is partnered and I am not, and a wedding can not remind me more of that fact, and that I don't even have a date makes it worse. I am alone in my own family. I love my family dearly but that doesn't make this any easier. I just want what they have.

And then I'm reminded of Robby (played by Adam Sandler) from the Wedding Singer. When his ex-fiance comes back that's what he says, "I don't want be alone anymore." And then he passes out and wakes up the next morning to realize his grave mistake.

Bad things always happen if you rush into a relationship for the sake of having one, but I know how Robby felt. Sometimes, in moments of weakness, I find myself saying, "I don't want to be alone anymore."

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